Archives February 2021

7 tips to get your teen to sleep more is vital for the teen’s health. One common issue with teens I see is lack of sleep or sleep deprivation and as parent know it is really difficult to get a tired teen out of bed. According to the Canadian Pediatric Society the recommend hours of sleep for 13- to 18-year-olds is 8 to 10 hours per night. However, statistics shows that more than half of Canadian teens get much less, about 6.5 to 7.5 hours per night and that is not surprising given the teens that I see and how many hours of sleep they disclose. As noted in one of my blog post, sleep deprivation has been linked to mood swings; drop in school performance, poor eating habits, reduced cognitive function, and difficulties concentrating. As such, it’s important to pay attention to your teen’s schedule.

Nonetheless, changes in hormones, technology, schoolwork, extracurricular activities, and so on could cause sleep deprivation in teen. And as such parent needs to pay attention.

Some ways that parents and caregivers can help their teen get more sleep includes;

Tip 1: Make it a priority and take a stand.

Set clear limits with regards to study and sleep and make it a priority so your teen understand and know how to manage their time. Keep in mind that they may not like the decision but in the long run it will pay off.

Tip 2: Be Consistent to Get Your Teen more Sleep.

Parents and caregivers be consistent and encourage consistency with your teens. Stick to the routine and the sleep schedule but weekdays and weekends. In sticking to the routine and schedule on the weekends you could be flexible.

Tip 3: Avoid Napping to Get Your Teen more Sleep.

Discourage your teen from taking a nap at any time of the day as that could hinder them from sleeping on time.

Tip 4: Limit Screen Time to Get Your Teen more Sleep.

One hour minimum before bedtime all screened should be turned off. However, if a teen have a homework that needs the internet then I would suggest they do it early on in the day and not close to bedtime.

Tip 5: Bed for Sleep Only

Make bed for sleep only and not for eating or watching TV because then it will be associated with sleeping rather than eating or watch TV as suggested by experts.

Tip 6: Discourage Food/Snacks/Drinks

Discourage your teen from eating big meals, snacking, and drinking drinks with caffeine before bedtime as this could hinder your teen from sleeping and could be harmful.

Tip 7: Professional Consult

Seek professional consultation if your teen continues to struggle with sleep and it is impacting their functioning. One of the most common sleep problems with teens is insomnia, which is chronic difficulty in falling asleep or staying asleep and can interrupts the teens functioning. Cognitive Behavioral Therapy for Insomnia (or CBT-I) is the most effective treatment for insomnia.

Emem Iniobong, CCC-Q is a Canadian Certified Counsellor in Brandon, Manitoba. She specializes in working with children and adolescents through various mental, emotional, and behavioral challenges.  Passionate about helping children and teens find their unique strengths, she develop skills so they can overcome whatever challenges they face and bravely navigate the world around them. Bliss Counselling and Wellness Centre mission is to help you find your bliss and live confidently.

Here are 10 tips in dealing with your teens behaviours because dealing with your teen’s behaviours can be tiring and challenging, as parents and caregivers have expressed to me as a counsellor. And as such, parents and caregivers often look for a quick fix to their teen’s behaviours. In this blog series of when do I know my teen need counselling, I am providing ten tips on dealing with your teen’s behaviours as part two of our series.

Something to keep in mind, as a parent is that teen can be moody and that could be as a result of how their brain develops and changes. Changes in teen’s mood and behaviours can lead to the teen appearing rude or disrespectful but behaving like this normal aspect for teen’s growth and development.

So here are 10 tips for dealing with your teen’s behaviours as a parent or caregiver;

1). Listen to your teen when dealingwith their behaviour.

Dealing with your teen’s behaviour can be challenging if you do not listen to them no matter if you think their input does not make sense. Your teen wants and needs to be heard by you.

2). Set clear rules for your teen when dealing with their behaviour.

Make the rules at home to be clear and not unclear. Let your teen know what is expected and make them be part of making those rules at home. An example will be having a family meeting to coming up with the family rules with regards to communication and behaviours.

3). Be Firm and Consistent when dealing with your Teen behaviour.

Be firm and consistent when dealing with your teen’s behaviours so they know what to expect from you as a parent. Do not set unrealistic expectation and consequences for your teen and be consistent with following up. Because that creates confusion for your teen as they do not know what to expect.

4). Positive Role Model.

Act and behave the way you want your teen to behave when you are with or around them. Remember the golden rule “do unto others what you want them to do unto you”.

5). Choose your Battle when dealing with your teen behaviour.

I hear a parent/caregiver asking how is this possible when al the teen does is to act and behave rude and disrespectful but you don’t have to take the bait as a parent. Teens will defiantly push those buttons to get you angry, so pick your battles.

6). Praise your Teen.

Be descriptive when praising your teen so they know what behaviour you are praising them for.

7). Respect Your Teen Privacy.

Do not barge into your teen’s room because you own the house. Be respectful of their privacy and knock on the door and ask for permission to come into their room.

8). Plan ahead for difficult conversations when dealing with your teen behaviour.

Prepare ahead for a difficult conversation. Choose a time and place where you can have that difficult conversation with your teen.

9). Spend Time with your Teen when dealing with their behaviour.

Sometimes in dealing with your teen’s behaviour it can be challenging spending time with them, as it could be exhausting. However, looking for every opportunity to spend quality time with your teen can be very rewarding. It does not have to be planned using every opportunity you see or get.

10). Keep Your Promise to your Teen in dealing their behaviour.

Do not make promises to your teens that you cannot keep all in the bid of trying to deal with their emotion. Make your promise realistic and keep to your promise as it breeds trust for you.

Nonetheless, if your teen or child’s behaviour does not change towards you as a parent or caregiver then you need to sort professional help or support. Subscribe for our newsletter and future blogs.

Other Mental Health Services at Bliss counselling and Wellness Centre, our goal is simple: Counselling services in Brandon City, MB, designed to help you build confidence, gain insight, developing coping skills, and finding your bliss. We specialize in working with children and adolescent, parenting and families. I also help young adults and facilitate groups.

Dealing with your teens emotions can be overwhelming and challenging for parents/caregivers and as well as for the teens. In one of my blog post, five signs that your teen needs counselling, I shared one common question that I often get from parents or caregiver, was when do I know my teens needs counselling and one of the signs I wrote about was if the your teen was having difficulties in managing their emotions, then that could be a sign that they needed to reach out to a professional. Today, I will be providing five tips for dealing with your teens emotions as a parent/caregiver.

1). Give your teen space to deal with their emotions

I know giving your teen space to deal with their emotions can be challenging for parents because all you want to do is to get in the face of your teen and tell them what to do, what not to do, and how to do it. However, everyone needs space and teens need more space because they are trying to discover themselves and that could appear or show up in different ways. Giving your teen space to deal with their emotion and come back to you when they are calm and ready will reduce stress and any form of confrontation. More so, it increases confidence in your teen that you trust them to deal with their emotions.

2). Understand the emotions your teen is dealing with

Parent needs to understand that sometime anger could be making other emotions in their teen and as a results anger shows up and parent may assume that their teen is rebellious. Anger could be masking shame, sadness, fear, and hurt and when the emotions are too much your teen may lash out, but if the emotional outbreak becomes an occurrences in your teen then you need to reach out to a professional.

3). Remain Calm

Really? I can hear a parent/caregiver ask me that question. Yes, remain calm and I know that can be challenging especially when you see your teen slamming the doors or breaking stuff. Remain clam can decrease any form of escalation. More remember you cannot control how your teen deals with their emotions but you can control how you respond to them.

4). Provide an Outlet for your teen to deal with their emotions.

As parents/caregiver you can help provide your teen an outlet to release their emotions in different ways. They could include providing a calming space, engaging them in exercise, cooking, baking, artwork, mindfulness breathing exercise to release stress associated with their emotions.

5) Consider Therapy

As, I mentioned in one of my blogs, parent second themselves most times. If you feel that your teen needs to speak to a professional, have that open conversation with your teen and connect them to a professional to support your teen. Ask yourself this question, what is the worst thing that can happen if I reach out to a professional, I guess you know the answer “nothing”.

Remember, parenting can be challenging and as such incorporating these techniques to your parenting style can help lessen the stress.

Emem Iniobong is a Brandon MB, Canadian Certified Counsellor that helps children, teens, young adults, parents, and families in dealing with anxiety, depression, grief, parenting support to live a more fulfilled and bliss-ful life.

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6 Benefits of online counselling for teens will be discussed in this blog. In the last couple of months, online counselling has seen a growing wave and that has also been as a result of the pandemic. It’s really been crazy to see how things moved very fast including business moving and using the online platform more often. It has really been a lot of learning curves for some counsellors as they have adjusted to doing counselling online as to still serve their client. For me, my practice has also adjusted and incorporated online counselling for children and teens since in person counselling at the moment is not happening. Some benefits for online counselling for teens include but not limited to;

1). Accessible Online Counselling for Teens.

Online counselling is beneficial for teens because it is accessible now and can be done from and anywhere. Living in a small community where you may not have qualified counsellors in that community, online counselling makes it accessible for teens to access counselling. Teens do not have to travel to another community to access counselling they can contact any counsellor and have access.

2). Convenient/Flexibility to Online Counselling for Teens.

Online counselling for teens is convenient because you can access counselling from anywhere and any place. Parents/Caregivers don’t have to pay for baby sitters, drive through hectic traffic, no travelling, or even miss work in other to schedule an appointment. Teens can get access to online counselling without having to miss school because of their appointment because of the flexibility to schedule around what works for their schedule.

3). Comfortable with Online Counselling for Teens.

Teens are comfortable with chatting online and also making friendship online, so this not uncomfortable for teens because they are already engaging in the online forum. In this pandemic period where it seems, that everything is going or going online, teens are already comfortable building relationships online and making it comfortable for teens to get access to online counselling and comfortable with it. Another benefit is that it reduces the feeling of being comfortable and anxious about face-to-face session and can also cut no-show for counsellors.

4). Different Options to Online Counselling for Teens.

With the different options available to teens, they can can benefit and have access online counselling through video, live chat, texting, and phone. The amazing thing is that the teens can decide with of this options works best for them.

5). No Stigma to Online Counselling for Teens.

No need for a teen to worry if someone will see him/her entering that office for counselling. Online counselling reduces that stigma because no one can see you access counselling from your home and no one can know where and when you are accessing online counselling.

6). Secure/Confidential to Online Counselling and Teens.

Online counselling for teens is secure and confidential because Canadian Certified Counsellors must follow licensing regulations and HIPAA regulations that ensure security and confidentiality.

Other Mental Health Services at Bliss counselling and Wellness Centre, our goal is simple: Counselling services in Brandon City, MB, designed to help you build confidence, gain insight, developing coping skills, and finding your bliss. We specialize in working with children and adolescent, parenting and families. I also help young adults.

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