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Here are 10 tips in dealing with your teens behaviours because dealing with your teen’s behaviours can be tiring and challenging, as parents and caregivers have expressed to me as a counsellor. And as such, parents and caregivers often look for a quick fix to their teen’s behaviours. In this blog series of when do I know my teen need counselling, I am providing ten tips on dealing with your teen’s behaviours as part two of our series.

Something to keep in mind, as a parent is that teen can be moody and that could be as a result of how their brain develops and changes. Changes in teen’s mood and behaviours can lead to the teen appearing rude or disrespectful but behaving like this normal aspect for teen’s growth and development.

So here are 10 tips for dealing with your teen’s behaviours as a parent or caregiver;

1). Listen to your teen when dealingwith their behaviour.

Dealing with your teen’s behaviour can be challenging if you do not listen to them no matter if you think their input does not make sense. Your teen wants and needs to be heard by you.

2). Set clear rules for your teen when dealing with their behaviour.

Make the rules at home to be clear and not unclear. Let your teen know what is expected and make them be part of making those rules at home. An example will be having a family meeting to coming up with the family rules with regards to communication and behaviours.

3). Be Firm and Consistent when dealing with your Teen behaviour.

Be firm and consistent when dealing with your teen’s behaviours so they know what to expect from you as a parent. Do not set unrealistic expectation and consequences for your teen and be consistent with following up. Because that creates confusion for your teen as they do not know what to expect.

4). Positive Role Model.

Act and behave the way you want your teen to behave when you are with or around them. Remember the golden rule “do unto others what you want them to do unto you”.

5). Choose your Battle when dealing with your teen behaviour.

I hear a parent/caregiver asking how is this possible when al the teen does is to act and behave rude and disrespectful but you don’t have to take the bait as a parent. Teens will defiantly push those buttons to get you angry, so pick your battles.

6). Praise your Teen.

Be descriptive when praising your teen so they know what behaviour you are praising them for.

7). Respect Your Teen Privacy.

Do not barge into your teen’s room because you own the house. Be respectful of their privacy and knock on the door and ask for permission to come into their room.

8). Plan ahead for difficult conversations when dealing with your teen behaviour.

Prepare ahead for a difficult conversation. Choose a time and place where you can have that difficult conversation with your teen.

9). Spend Time with your Teen when dealing with their behaviour.

Sometimes in dealing with your teen’s behaviour it can be challenging spending time with them, as it could be exhausting. However, looking for every opportunity to spend quality time with your teen can be very rewarding. It does not have to be planned using every opportunity you see or get.

10). Keep Your Promise to your Teen in dealing their behaviour.

Do not make promises to your teens that you cannot keep all in the bid of trying to deal with their emotion. Make your promise realistic and keep to your promise as it breeds trust for you.

Nonetheless, if your teen or child’s behaviour does not change towards you as a parent or caregiver then you need to sort professional help or support. Subscribe for our newsletter and future blogs.

Other Mental Health Services at Bliss counselling and Wellness Centre, our goal is simple: Counselling services in Brandon City, MB, designed to help you build confidence, gain insight, developing coping skills, and finding your bliss. We specialize in working with children and adolescent, parenting and families. I also help young adults and facilitate groups.

Dealing with your teens emotions can be overwhelming and challenging for parents/caregivers and as well as for the teens. In one of my blog post, five signs that your teen needs counselling, I shared one common question that I often get from parents or caregiver, was when do I know my teens needs counselling and one of the signs I wrote about was if the your teen was having difficulties in managing their emotions, then that could be a sign that they needed to reach out to a professional. Today, I will be providing five tips for dealing with your teens emotions as a parent/caregiver.

1). Give your teen space to deal with their emotions

I know giving your teen space to deal with their emotions can be challenging for parents because all you want to do is to get in the face of your teen and tell them what to do, what not to do, and how to do it. However, everyone needs space and teens need more space because they are trying to discover themselves and that could appear or show up in different ways. Giving your teen space to deal with their emotion and come back to you when they are calm and ready will reduce stress and any form of confrontation. More so, it increases confidence in your teen that you trust them to deal with their emotions.

2). Understand the emotions your teen is dealing with

Parent needs to understand that sometime anger could be making other emotions in their teen and as a results anger shows up and parent may assume that their teen is rebellious. Anger could be masking shame, sadness, fear, and hurt and when the emotions are too much your teen may lash out, but if the emotional outbreak becomes an occurrences in your teen then you need to reach out to a professional.

3). Remain Calm

Really? I can hear a parent/caregiver ask me that question. Yes, remain calm and I know that can be challenging especially when you see your teen slamming the doors or breaking stuff. Remain clam can decrease any form of escalation. More remember you cannot control how your teen deals with their emotions but you can control how you respond to them.

4). Provide an Outlet for your teen to deal with their emotions.

As parents/caregiver you can help provide your teen an outlet to release their emotions in different ways. They could include providing a calming space, engaging them in exercise, cooking, baking, artwork, mindfulness breathing exercise to release stress associated with their emotions.

5) Consider Therapy

As, I mentioned in one of my blogs, parent second themselves most times. If you feel that your teen needs to speak to a professional, have that open conversation with your teen and connect them to a professional to support your teen. Ask yourself this question, what is the worst thing that can happen if I reach out to a professional, I guess you know the answer “nothing”.

Remember, parenting can be challenging and as such incorporating these techniques to your parenting style can help lessen the stress.

Emem Iniobong is a Brandon MB, Canadian Certified Counsellor that helps children, teens, young adults, parents, and families in dealing with anxiety, depression, grief, parenting support to live a more fulfilled and bliss-ful life.

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6 Benefits of online counselling for teens will be discussed in this blog. In the last couple of months, online counselling has seen a growing wave and that has also been as a result of the pandemic. It’s really been crazy to see how things moved very fast including business moving and using the online platform more often. It has really been a lot of learning curves for some counsellors as they have adjusted to doing counselling online as to still serve their client. For me, my practice has also adjusted and incorporated online counselling for children and teens since in person counselling at the moment is not happening. Some benefits for online counselling for teens include but not limited to;

1). Accessible Online Counselling for Teens.

Online counselling is beneficial for teens because it is accessible now and can be done from and anywhere. Living in a small community where you may not have qualified counsellors in that community, online counselling makes it accessible for teens to access counselling. Teens do not have to travel to another community to access counselling they can contact any counsellor and have access.

2). Convenient/Flexibility to Online Counselling for Teens.

Online counselling for teens is convenient because you can access counselling from anywhere and any place. Parents/Caregivers don’t have to pay for baby sitters, drive through hectic traffic, no travelling, or even miss work in other to schedule an appointment. Teens can get access to online counselling without having to miss school because of their appointment because of the flexibility to schedule around what works for their schedule.

3). Comfortable with Online Counselling for Teens.

Teens are comfortable with chatting online and also making friendship online, so this not uncomfortable for teens because they are already engaging in the online forum. In this pandemic period where it seems, that everything is going or going online, teens are already comfortable building relationships online and making it comfortable for teens to get access to online counselling and comfortable with it. Another benefit is that it reduces the feeling of being comfortable and anxious about face-to-face session and can also cut no-show for counsellors.

4). Different Options to Online Counselling for Teens.

With the different options available to teens, they can can benefit and have access online counselling through video, live chat, texting, and phone. The amazing thing is that the teens can decide with of this options works best for them.

5). No Stigma to Online Counselling for Teens.

No need for a teen to worry if someone will see him/her entering that office for counselling. Online counselling reduces that stigma because no one can see you access counselling from your home and no one can know where and when you are accessing online counselling.

6). Secure/Confidential to Online Counselling and Teens.

Online counselling for teens is secure and confidential because Canadian Certified Counsellors must follow licensing regulations and HIPAA regulations that ensure security and confidentiality.

Other Mental Health Services at Bliss counselling and Wellness Centre, our goal is simple: Counselling services in Brandon City, MB, designed to help you build confidence, gain insight, developing coping skills, and finding your bliss. We specialize in working with children and adolescent, parenting and families. I also help young adults.

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Mental health is common with children and teens as it is common with adults, and the experiences are same, yet, many children and teens go undiagnosed and untreated.

One minute, there were kids and the next minutes they are teens and then adults. Kids and teen are constantly growing and hormones are changing. From one energetic toddler to a teen that sleep till noon. Mental health illness can have huge impact on teen’s development.

Mental health illnesses, if not treated early, can disrupt a teen normal development which can affect them for the rest of their lives. Some common mental illnesses that affect children and teens include;

1).DEPRESSION AS A COMMON MENTAL HEALTH ILLNESS IN TEENS

Depression can show up during teenage years and can affect a child or teen’s attitudes and emotions, making them feel unusually sad, crying, or irritated for more than two weeks at a time. The good thing is that depression is usually quite treatable. Sometimes therapy alone is helpful, and sometimes a combination of therapy and medication can offer the best symptom relief. But if left untreated, depression can get worse. 

2). ANIXETY AS A COMMON MENTAL HEALTH ILLNESS IN TEENS

Anxiety is very a common mental health illness that affects children and teens.  Anxiety disorders can cause teens to be extremely afraid of, worry a lot, and fearful things or situations that it affects with daily life. It can also affect with a teen’s ability to go out with friends, education, relationship, etc.  Talk therapy is usually the preferred form of treatment for anxiety. Teens may benefit from learning skills to manage their symptoms and face their fears.

3). ATTENTION DEFICIT HYPERACTIVE DISORDER AS A COMMON MENTAL HEALTH ILLNESS IN TEENS

ADHD makes it difficult for children and teen to focus their attention. Symptoms of ADHD may become obvious by age 4 but sometimes those symptoms don’t become problematic until the teen years. Teens may experience academic problems when the work is difficult or during high school years. Some teen with this mental health illness may struggle to complete a project, lack focus, and get easily distracted. ADHD is frequently treated with both therapy and medication. Also, parent training may also be part of treatment to help the family manage symptoms in the home.

4). OPPOSITIONAL DEFIANT DISORDER AS A COMMON MENTAL HEALTH ILLNESS IN TEENS

Oppositional defiant disorder leads to a teens being verbal and physical aggressive to people and sometimes could be destructive. Teen with ODD tend to struggle to maintain healthy relationships and often their behavior interferes with their education. Treatment for ODD may include parent training programs and therapy.

5). EATING DISORDER AS A COMMON MENTAL HEALTH ILLNESS IN TEENS

Eating disorders can take a serious toll on a teen’s physical health. Eating disorders involve a distorted body image along with really harmful behaviours to manage food and weight, making it difficult to nourish oneself properly. Treatment often requires both physical health monitoring and intensive therapy.

Nonetheless, there are other mental health illnesses that are not on this list. If you observe any of this problem in your child or teen reach out and seek professional help.

Emem Iniobong, CCC-Q is a Canadian Certified Counsellor in Brandon, Manitoba. She specializes in working with children and adolescents through various mental, emotional, and behavioral challenges.  Passionate about helping children and teens find their unique strengths, she develop skills so they can overcome whatever challenges they face and bravely navigate the world around them. Emem owns Bliss Counselling and Wellness Centre whose mission is to help you find your bliss and live confidently.

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FIVE SIGNS THAT YOUR TEEN NEEDS COUNSELLING – One common questions I have been asked as a counsellor by parents and caregivers is when do I know that my teen is asking for help or when is the right time to seek therapy or start counselling for teen, and what signs do I need to look out for. Parents will second guess themselves, torn between wanting to help and support and wanting to give their teen room to grow and manage life on their own.

These are all great questions. However, when it comes to teens related questions, you will agree with me is always complicated. Teens face daily struggles with mood swings, stress, sadness, shame, bullying, guilt, relationships drama, self-esteem, self-image, identity issues, feeling overwhelmed about their future, and etc. It can be challenging to know if your teen is dealing with some these issues in a healthy way or when they need expert help.

Remember, parents you are the expert of your teen! Even though some days may appear as if you are not doing well enough as a parent, this is your child and you know them best. Trust your instincts.

Here are five signs that can suggest that it may be time to seek therapy for your teen:

1). Difficulty managing their emotions may mean your teen needs counselling

Change in teen emotions could be seen as normal as teen grow up but if your in teen is extremely anxious, low mood, crying all the time, emotion preventing them from functioning, under more stress than usual, emotions impacting their relationships, your teen more irritable and quicker to anger than they used to be, or behaving and engaging in ways they will normally not do because they are not able to manage their emotions.

2). Change in teen behaviour may mean your they need counselling

Change in your teen behaviour may not mean anything but if your teen behaviours has changed drastically, school performance has been, skipping school, teen no longer hanging out with friends or have they changed friend groups completely, no friends, angry at all of their friends, and they avoiding all social functions recently.

3). Change in teen Sleep Habit may mean your they need counselling

Change in your teen sleeping habit can suggest they need counselling such as, is your teen always tired, sleeping too much or too less, choosing to sleep in the middle of the day or continuously needing a nap, or sleeping instead of doing things that were usually more fun and important to them. Parent keep in mind that sleep deprivation has been linked to mood swings; drop in school performance, poor eating habits, reduced cognitive function, and difficulties concentrating.

4). Self-Harm or destructive behaviours may mean your teen needs counselling

If your teen self-harm or engage in self-destructive behaviors such as hair-pulling or skin-picking, cutting, drugs, drinking, do not seem to feel pain, talks about or engages in any kind of self-harm or risk taking is a sign that they need counselling and you need to reach out.

5). Suicidal Ideation/thinking of death may mean your teen needs counselling

If your teen is making comments like “I wish I weren’t here,” or “Nobody would care if I ran away,” If your teen talks obsessively about suicide. Is he/she talking about or thinking about hurting himself or someone else? If so, call for help immediately.

If you see all or some of these signs are in your teen then talk to your teen about speaking to someone. Your child may know it is time to speak to someone or may not know they it is an option. Likewise, by asking your teen if they will see a counsellor, you are showing your teen that there is no stigma or shame in seeking counselling. 

Wonder why Online Counselling is important. No doubt it’s been a different and challenging times. Everyone is impacted by the COVID-19 pandemic, however the impacts is not the same for everyone. Although we all experiencing this pandemic now but the impact is different for everyone.

A study published by Canadian Mental Health Association (CMHA) and University of British Columbia shown that mental health is deteriorating as the pandemic wears on. The results indicated that intensified feelings of anxiety and stress, worrying, suicidal thoughts, and hopelessness in the Canadian population. As such, in response to the pandemic and “flatten the curve” most counsellors, mental health counsellors, psychiatrists and psychologists are using Health Insurance Portability and Accountability Act (HIPAA) compliant platform to reach out to their clients. Whether you are a returning client or starting therapy for the first time, you can benefit from online therapy because it can be accessible, convenient, and reduce stigma.

1). Accessible to Online Counselling

• Those with anxiety, social anxiety, limited mobility, or any other mobility, are able to reach a counsellor online, which can make a difference in being able to access help and get help.
• Removes the stress of those living in rural communities and cannot travel because of the distance. No need to travel because online counselling the resource pool of counsellors available to you. You get to choice.
• Removes the issues of I know that person, embarrassment, or conflict of interest, awkwardness because the community is small.

2). Convenient of Online Counselling

• Appointment for online counselling can be access from the comfort of your home. No need to worry if you are properly dressed or not.
• No needs to hire a babysitter to watch your kids, drive through hectic traffic, or commute for appointment.
•  Online counselling works with your hectic schedules.

3). Reduce Stigma/Stress in Online Counselling

• The worry of been seen by someone you know for getting mental health when you go to a clinic for your appointment is reduced or eliminated.
• Can reduce the stress of those who find it difficult to be in the physical presence of others.
• Using online counselling through text can be less hindering, as it gives room to think through ideas and responses.

As reported, by CMHA and UBC Canadians struggles with mental health during winter. But with the pandemic, eroded social network, uncertainty, and restrictions on holiday gathering are hitting a time when people are already anxious, stressed, fearful, hopeless, and worrying about the unknown. It is important to know there is help and there is hope. Reach out now and schedule your appointment for an online counselling.

Other Mental Health Services at Bliss counselling and Wellness Centre, our goal is simple: Counselling services in Brandon City, MB designed to help you build confidence, gain insight, developing coping skills, and finding your bliss. We specialize in working with children and adolescent, parenting, and families.

Canadian Mental Health Association. (December, 2020) Despair and suicidal feelings deepen as pandemic wears on. Retrieved from https://cmha.bc.ca/news/despair-and-suicidal-feelings-deepen-as-pandemic-wears-on/

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